The night before the storm.

Today is the 26th November 2014, and in 48 hours or so, I will be receiving my final results for my second semester. Each passing day has only been a series of denials to myself in my final exams which is often suppressed by the tasty feelings of chocolates. For you see, I didn't do too fantastically well in my first semester here in uni where I failed 3 subjects and passed only 1. Yes, I fell into desperation and succumbed to a few moments of depression until I got up and headed down to the law faculty to discuss with the admin officer.

I was then told that I would get a second chance and pursued one of my failed subjects along with 2 additional new subjects as I passed one of the core units. Obviously, it eradicated that feeling of despair and depression as I was given a new lease on my journey.

Now after 13 weeks of excruciating pain and humiliation in one of the subjects that I took, I am afraid that it may have subdued my passion to partake the course with creativity and passion. As I am legally bound to the secrecy of the exams, I will not write anything about the content of that exam here. However, I can say that I was sort of traumatized by it.

Listen to me, already am I contemplating what would I do if I failed my subjects and then I am excluded from the university for a year. I have just read the Malaysian Bar Council requirements for me to enter and it looks like I have made the wrong decision to study here in the University of T- I suppose I can't say it here either.

The second year is a year where they told me is suppose to filter out non-potential lawyers as the failure rate was high (40-45% law students failed). And yes, I suppose I am in that percentage.

The law school is suppose to help you equip yourself with the necessary tools that you will need when we one day will work as lawyers. I can see that, but often it is in the exams that I may have screw things up.

Basically what I'm waiting for is to see whether either two of the following will occur:
1) I passed all my subjects and I gleefully prance around like a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow; or
2) I fight for the review of my marks and hopefully, they will increase the marks to a passing mark; or
3) cry in bitter agony that my pursuit to be a lawyer has failed and I have dishonoured my family; or
4) even after the review, I still get a fail mark and thus repeating (3).

The picture inset is what I have prepared to set as my profile pictures if I passed all 3 subjects or in the event, I did fail one but in the review, they granted me a passing mark.

I know it's not the end of the world for me, but it sure is the end of my pursuit to be a lawyer.

I wasn't born with super intelligence or any fancy skills. I had to work hard for it.


Life will turn out differently for us, and who knows, you might be the next Prime Minister of your country, or the next Pope, or the next big guy who sits on top of the tower of a business building in your big fancy office. Or whichever you deem success in your life is to be.